is it a herd of zygotes? a flock? a pod?

Sorry for the short posts of late. The thesis is almost done, and it seems I have time for little else these days. I also apologize, in advance, for any split infinitives, subject-verb disagreement, and, naturally, the overuse of commas and, as a corollary, the overabundance, well intentioned though they may be, of incomprehensible dependent clauses. My head hasn't seen a pillow in a couple of days, and grammar happens to be the first thing to go. Oh, and brevity. Wait. Did I set out to initially apologize for my recent short posts? Oops, there I go spewing out split infinitives again -- Strunk and White must be turning over in their graves right now. OK, so now I will also apologize for taking so damn long to get to the point. Alright, enough already. Here goes:

Yesterday was a rather unnerving day on the zygotic front. No, no, nothing like that. We had an appointment with our rather unique midwife and mother and baby are doing very well. But I'll get to that in a second. No, really it was a sequence of rather ominous occurrences happening within the space of a few hours, that have left us wondering if I might want to perhaps cease (damn, there I go again) referring to the zygote as a singular entity:

Occurrence 1: d.w. is 16 weeks along (not even halfway), and already her cute little innie has become a curiously foreign outie. And there are still 24 (or 25 or 26 or 27...) weeks to go? Whoa.

Occurrence 2: I swung by a friend's house to give her a little thank you gift for having watched over our cats while we soaked up the sun in CA. She, the mother of the cutest 15-month-old twins EVER, says to me: "Forgive me if this is too personal, but d.w.'s breasts are getting really huge. Mine didn't start to grow that much until the twins were almost born." Now, generally when a beautiful woman starts talking to me about her breasts... OK, I just couldn't resist starting a sentence that way, although I must admit that my experience is not adequately extensive for me to be able to finish it. Anyway, she goes on to muse that perhaps twins are contagious, and mentions that she wants to hear how d.w. is measuring, all of which makes me a little dizzy.

Occurrence 3: Putting this out of my mind, d.w. and I made our way down to Des Moines for an appointment with our midwife (whose office lacked puppies this time around, darnit). With d.w. lying on the examination table, Sheryl suddenly blurts out, "Are you sure about your due date? Because you're measuring like you're at 20 weeks, not 16." Yes, quite sure, thank you very much. Shit. Wrong answer.

Occurrence 4: Then d.w. and I came back home, nervous and not a little freaked out, when rather serendipitously (though not necessarily in a good way) she sees a post on a pregnancy message board from a mother of twins, who at 16 weeks measured like she was 20 weeks. How's that for an eerie coincidence?

So I suppose it's all we can do to bide our time until d.w. has an ultrasound in a few weeks. Meanwhile I think I'll occupy myself with thesis revisions, feeding my rather unhealthy Diet Coke addiction (which I'm quitting cold-turkey as soon as my thesis is signed, by the way -- maybe I'll take up smoking or gambling instead...), and contemplating the very real (and REALLY REALLY SCARY) possibility of twice the zygotic goodness we had expected.

Comments

[Mama]

Not to alarm you, but twins have occurred on your maternal side.

[Uncle Cali]

Perhaps instead of twins you have an NBA forward? The thought of you and DW kissing a 6ft. 4th grader goodnight makes me chuckle...

[Lauren]

Twins run in my family, too. Thing is, I only want 2 kids, husband wants three. The first baby will probably gestate solo, but I'm willing to be big bucks the second does so tandem. Oh. My. God. Good luck at the US appointment!

[Papa Bradstein]

That is a bit daunting, but you will adapt and grow into it and be just as wonderful parents to both zygotes, if there are two, as you would be to one zygote.

Mama and I have often wondered what twins would be like...now we may find out through you. You may be even more lucky...a coworker just announced that she's expecting triplets.

As for the correct term--don't whales come in pods? You wouldn't want to wish whale-sized zygotes on d.w., methinks (or use the word "whale" around her while she's pregnant). "Flock" might work, although they might come out with long, flippy, 80s haircuts and an affinity for synthesizers.

Can they listen for multiple heartbeats?

[Danielle in Iowa]

Now, was she vegan or just vegetarian prior?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/30/health/30twin.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

[zygote daddy]

No, she hasn't gone vegan in 5 years. Good timing on that article, by the way...

[Dad-to-Be]

Yikes!! K___ would like twins but I'd prefer not (as though there's any choice in the matter).

However, there's some definite advantages;

1) You get to name them after a double act...
2) Assuming your family is completed with two, you only have to go through the 'radioactive poop' stage once. Admittedly with twice as much.
3) Since by all accounts coping one newborn will leave you 100% shattered, coping with two cannot double the fatigue (not sure about this one...)
4) They leave home at the same time!

To boldly go onto a different subject, I always find it interesting to see the US facination with split infinitives. In the UK it is now pretty much accepted that there is nothing whatsoever wrong with splitting infinitives! The whole thing came about because of a ridiculous notion that the English Language should conform to the rules of Latin. Since you can't split an infinitive in Latin, some bright spark decided you shouldn't be able to in English. He conveniently managed (!) not to notice that English is almost, but not completely, different from Latin...

Incidentally, I recently finished a magnificent tome about the Enlish language by an American author called Bill Bryson. Bryson is one of the funniest writers out there, but I believe he's very much more successful in the UK than in the US. Anyway, 'The Mother Tongue' is heartily recommended.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0380715430/sr=8-1/qid=1149405521/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-1288186-5243326?%5Fencoding=UTF8

[zygote daddy]

Ah yes: "To boldly go" is one of my major professor's greatest pet peeves (what I think you Brits call a "pet hate", no?), and I must admit it is rubbing off on me...

And thanks for the book tip. I think Mother Tongue is the only one of his books I haven't read yet, and I've been meaning to pick it up for some time now.

I must admit those are some, er, benefits. Of course, along with leaving home at the same time comes going to college at the same time... but maybe it's worth it to have our very own Sonny & Cher, Siegfried & Roy, or Bonnie & Clyde.