the war on baby crack becomes a quagmire

I swore I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't succumb to the tempting convenience and ease of just sticking my kid in a swinging, blinking, music-playing Neglect-o-Matic (or "baby crack", as d.w. lovingly puts it), rather than actually holding him, while singing and talking and swaying.

I was just so sure about it. This was something I simply WOULD NOT DO.

But then I realized that sometimes, just sometimes, I have to put on socks. Or change a lightbulb. Or rediscover my own personal space.

At least I draw the line at the music. Tinny, Fisher Price muzak has absolutely no business contaminating my aural experience. Period.

d.w. and I have both managed to become fairly adept at doing household chores while wearing the little dude in a wrap, but we've both come to accept that once in a while, it's ok to put him down. It doesn't make us bad parents, and it doesn't mean Chins is destined for many years of therapy (well, from this at least).

But it is a little creepy how his consciousness seems to exist on an entirely different plane when he fixates on those weird little plastic fish. Reason enough not to sit him there any longer than we have to.

Actually, sometimes I just need to put him down because he's a 13-pound(!), 24-inch-long(!) one month old(!). Yes, he is now officially off the charts. Today Sheryl (d.w.'s fabulous nurse-midwife, who we've kept on for pediatric care) pegged him somewhere considerably north of the 99th percentile for weight and length. And that means he gets rather heavy after a while, especially when he can only sort of hold up his (gigantic) head, and generally just feels like a giant larva curled up there.

So we've finally accepted we can't simply "stay the course" in the war on baby crack. I guess we'll have to be happy fighting baby crack to a draw. But we're not losing — call it a phased redeployment of child-rearing priorities.

Comments

[Papa Bradstein]

As John Lennon said, whatever gets you through the night. Eventually you'll be laying him down so he can explore and learn to crawl, which should be, at his rate of growth, sometime next week.

Yep, the other day The Physicist and I were wondering about all the things we'll be doing after our little guy arrives that we once swore we'd never do.

Of course, ten years ago I was "never" going to get married, and even three years ago I was "never" going to have kids. Yeah.

[IrishPaul]

I actually got pretty pissed when you posted the "Neglect-o-matic 3000" comment because Miriam and I would honestly have killed ourselves or the babies without that exact swing.

Before we had the kids I swore they would never use a pacifier. Admittedly it was the inlaws that introduced them to them, but I'm pretty sure we would have died without them. Miriam wanted to try in-arms child-raising. Nice thought, but twins shot the hell out of that idea. Hope you're enjoying the break- see you in a few weeks.

[Plain Jane Mom]

What a cutie! And as for the baby crack, I'm convinced that babies need down time too. When mine would sit there zoned-out they would seem more refreshed afterwards.

As if at the end of a long day at work, they got to sit on the back porch and watch the sun go down. Babies have stress too, and the swings/bouncers seemed to help my kids.

So don't feel too bad. And stick a quarter in the 'therapy jar'.

[Danielle in Iowa]

I don't have babies and I am nowhere near having babies, but this post just made me laugh and laugh.

[andrea]

I'm with Plain Jane Mom- babies and parents sometimes need their own space. And sometimes, if you are cooking at a hot stove or doing some other potentially hazardous household task, it's best to have the babe out of harm's way. Baby crack rules- I agree with the FP muzak- the volume on some of those things is deafening and some babies get over-stimulated. Not to mention strung out parents.
We've all got the "I'll Never..." list. Most of what was on my list tastes pretty good with crow.

[lisa]

I swore we would never use those things either, but we received a swing, a vibrating bouncy chair, and a musical/"nature sounds" mobile. I love our attachment parenting thing we've got going, but you know what? After having the kid in the maya wrap for eight hours straight, putting her in the swing while I cook dinner is like a luxury vacation.

[laura]

LOL
oh the things we say we ill never do always come back to bite us in the butt as parents.
me, among other things, i soon embraced sesame street and currently the backyardigans so i can actually take a shower.
our crib monile that entertained and provided "good stim" for baby # 5 while he was growing in the NICU played the lion sleeps tonight. it took forever for me to find it.
my advice is exorcise the word "never" from your vocbularly when discussing your parenting strategies.
cute baby, lovely family and delightful blog. i have bookmarked you.

[samantha Jo Campen]

I think it's about time for me to post my "I'll/We'll Never" list so once we get pregnant the blogosphere can laugh and laugh and laugh. And really? I'm fine with that.

I'm with PB. He'll be walking by New Year's.

[canape]

I love this post. I'm expecting my first, but it is my husband's second. He laughs a lot at the "never's" and "what will be's" that I have already decided.

I don't know if these are age appropriate, but my dear friend has some cool links to toys that they like quite a bit. You might like it: http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/tag/toys/

I enjoy reading your blog!

[Jessica B.]

I always wondered if those things actually worked. This picture and your description proves it. It's baby hypnotism. :-)

[Henitsirk]

Never is such a, well, STRONG word.

I never succumbed to "baby crack" but we did go with a "baby jail" (crib). I agree about the music though...we have had several items, usually toys, that never saw a battery so that we could preserve our hearing and our sanity.

When my son was little I really liked the idea behind RIE (www.rie.org) where you basically create a safe space that infants and small children can move around in freely. For infants this means a clean, uncluttered floor with a few objects to pique their interest and inspire movement.

The thing about baby crack, or even baby-wearing for that matter, is that if not done in moderation, the baby doesn't get time to move on their own!

[Kaz]

Having a colicky baby, one of these things saved our sanity. There is only so long you can carry a crying baby who does not seem to be getting any more comforted before you need to put them down. This thing seemed to do the trick, at least some of the time.

I think it is in the best interests of both baby and parents that the parent remain sane :) As long as you aren't over-doing it, don't sweat it.