when good babies go bad

Sorry for the not posting since last week. It's the end of the semester already, and apparently they make you take classes in grad school, like with exams and everything. Oh yeah, and there is a cute little three-week-old bundle of humanity kicking around. Can't forget about that angle...

So much has happened since I last posted, but I'm doing my best to avoid a "here's a boring minute-by-minute account of my baby's life" approach to blogging. I finally understand how easy a trap that is to fall into. There is nothing I love more than talking about the cute little shift of the eyebrows he just did, or that he just discovered himself in the mirror. I just need to tell myself that d.w. and I are the only ones who would possibly care about such trivialities, and we're already down in the orchestra pit for the performance. Then again, it has been fully a third of Chins' life since I was last around these parts, so surely a teeny tiny little mention of baby-related minutiae is acceptable.

Anyway.

Way back when, a million years ago, you know, right after Chins was born three weeks ago, I was totally on top of everything. I was up when he needed a diaper changed. I was already swaddling when I saw the slightest curling of his lip. A change of clothes? No prob. He was swimming in everything, and slept through it anyway.

Then I let my guard down, and it has come back to bite me bitterly in the ass.

 

Right after he was born he slept all the time. I could safely wail away with a hammer drill in the next room without the slightest worry of waking a fussy baby. He was easily passed among eagerly waiting family members without stirring. I kind of got used to how easy it was.

Now? Not so much. He spends a good couple of hours every day fussing. Not crying, really. Just your general bitching and moaning, baby-style. Though it's kind of the elephant in the room, I'm not even going to speculate on C-O-L-I-C because I can't find any wood to knock on right now. And this is still the easy period of babyhood. I fear the trajectory this kid seems to be on. Don't get me wrong, he's a great little guy. Very mellow as babies go, from what I hear. But still. I'm a little scared right now.

It would be fine if his fussiness made sense. You know, if he were lying in a cardboard box in the rain and being pecked at by ravenous sparrows or something. But nothing is wrong. Nothing. He has everything he needs: a boob and a blanket. And a really cute pair of socks shaped like little frog feet.

He's just not being very rational about this whole situation. If he could only calmly sit down (or, being three weeks old, lie on his back while flailing his arms like an overturned turtle) and think through what's going wrong, we might all be spared a little stress and commotion.

But then, I suppose it's just the fact that he's kind of new and just getting used to, you know, existence and stuff.

But I still think he's being impulsive and irrational about all of this.

Comments

[Crittermom]

Existential angst is one of the major reasons for crying during the first three months. Why it is not listed in the baby books, I do not know. Read him some Sartre or Camus perhaps?

[Kaz]

Oh, man, I hope the he's not colicky, like our daughter was. That was really... probably one of the toughest times of my life (I am not, by nature, a patient person).

We did a lot of walking while holding her and singing to her to try and calm her. A baby swing also seemed to help at times, as well.

I hope your little one grows out of this phase soon...

And don't worry about us thinking you don't like him. We're (mostly) all parents here. We understand how you can love your kids more than anything at the same time as being more pissed off at them than anything you've ever been pissed off about. :) that's what being a parent is...

[samantha Jo Campen]

I wanna hear about his raised eyebrows! Really, I do!

Sorry about your little fuss bucket. If it makes you feel any better, read this article from The Onion. Freakin' hilarious!

http://www.physics.mcgill.ca/~arobic/funny/babies.html

[mama]

I wish all your old English teachers could read your essays! That would show 'em! I was sitting here laughing out loud all by my lonesome.

[zygote daddy]

Yeah, Samantha, I had thought about writing about how stupid babies seem to be. Then I reconsidered, because that's exactly the kind of thing that brings out the territorial mama bear in d.w.

[Henitsirk]

I think it takes a couple of weeks for them to realize: hey, in the womb I didn't even know I had needs, I was cosseted so well...and now, what's up with the dumb looks you guys give me when I'm CLEARLY crying for food/clean diaper/sleep/existential angst??? Get on it, parental units!

[Papa Bradstein]

The cuteness trap is an easy one to fall into. I know that I've fallen into it a few times--but don't sweat it. I'd be more worried if you didn't feel like going on about the little guy. As for the fussiness, 3B was much the same way, if not identical. We sweated about the C-word too, especially since Mama was a colicky baby. What everyone says is true, however--it passes . . . and you get used to it. Part of it's existential angst, part of it getting used to you, and part of it is you getting used to him. Also, the book The Happiest Baby on the Block helped us a lot. It may help to remember what Kaz wrote--you will get frustrated/pissed/whatever, but that will pass too.

So now, what was that about the eyebrows? Aren't their little faces so expressive and adorable? And those pudgy little cheeks--so cute!

[dear wife]

I really like existential angst, I think that describes it perfectly. Whenever ZD asks why is he upset I say it is just because he is not sure about being alive.

[mama]

Z.D., when your older brother had C_ _ _ _ the pediatrician gave him belladonna drops, which worked well. He said it was probably not the belladonna at all that knocked him out, but rather the alcohol in which they were suspended. Is that what is known as an old folk remedy?

[miah]

i hope it isn't colic. our midwife and the sears followers swear that wearing the baby will calm it. it did for lila, we'd go on long walks. we started her in at about 3 weeks. she was stomach height, more like inside a hammock, at that stage. also midwife recommended video: happiest baby on the block that suggests a series of actions: swaddling, straddling...man, i don't remember. but if you're at wits end, you might check it out.

[lisa]

My daughter is seven weeks old, and we've been going through the same thing since she was three weeks old--several hours a day of unexplained pissed-offedness before she finally falls asleep through the night. It got worse during the forth week, when her crying got so stressful that my husband and I both had moments where we had to put the baby down and walk out of the room and cry. But it's been getting better and easier ever since. She's falling into a routine and we're learning a lot of techniques to sooth her (it takes something different each day). Plus, she smiles at us now. That makes such a huge difference. It gets better and better every day.

[zygote daddy]

Uh oh. I didn't mean to make it sound as bad as all that. Please understand that this is the outlet for all the simmering neuroses of a first-time father!

And "The Happy Baby Book", as I call it because for some reason the title totally rubs me the wrog way, has been a great resource, and as a result I have become a total swaddling master. But it still makes me claustrophobic just looking at him bundled up and unable to move his little arms.

[suzy]

hi - in case this is any help ... my first baby fussed a lot - i mean an awful lot! i could not fathom why. this phase lasted 8 difficuly months. my 2nd was much more chilled, but i noticed, he burped more. now i have number 3, and he's a fusser, but less than number 1, so i give him very gentle baby massage, including clockwise on the tummy, and gently bicycling the legs, and each toe, and not only does he get a bit more relaxed, but sometimes gets rid of some hidden wind! i'll never know for sure, but i wonder if number 1 needed a bit more wind relief too - if only she could have told me! btw - number 3 is asleep on my shoulder right now, swaddled and soundly burped ... but he's been fussing most of the day! so i'm no supermum who gets it right all the time. but baby massage is still worth trying...

[dear wife]

yeah we think most of the fussing is gas since it usually stops once he burps or farts. I have wanted to give baby massage a try. We do massage his lower bell when he is trying to poop ans sometimes it works and sometimes not.